Recently I began reading the Bible, and only a dozen pages in I’m surprised by my misperceptions. I went to Roman Catholic schools my entire life so I’d read certain excerpts here and there and figured I had it all summed up. This naivety is what made me never look deeper, but now I confess I’m curious.

And indeed, there are some curious things in there.

For example. King James version. Genesis 1:26 reads, in part, And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. Immediately following that, Genesis 1:27 reads, So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him.

Did you catch that? I cross-referenced this passage with another version too. In both, God refers to himself as “us” and “our” whereas when God is referred to, he is an individual. This is well prior to Jesus ascending to Heaven, so we can exclude the Holy Trinity, although perhaps the “us” in question refers to God and the Holy Spirit? The dualism is a possibility. But I don’t think so, I think it’s a concession that man created God. And I think it’s an admittance that even if man didn’t create God, man interpreted him how we could.

There are other things I found interesting. From Genesis 1:27 (again), let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. How convenient this is for us that our God put everything on the planet for our disposal. It’s a free pass, especially when we find out later that God will forgive anything else we do!

I always thought that Adam and Eve ate of the tree of knowledge; in actuality, it’s the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Quite different meanings. After God curses them, they have two boys, Cain and Abel. In Genesis 4:2, we learn that Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. After the two men bring forth their offerings to God, the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. So God curses him, the brothers fight, and Cain kills Abel.

Seriously. If you’re Cain, you have got to be pretty pissed off at God. It’s only a few decades after creation, there aren’t a lot of jobs out there. Gardener or hunter, that’s it. And since hunter’s taken, you bring God the best you have and he gives unto you not respect? That’s gotta sting.

So then Cain is cursed, he has a bunch of children, and his children have children, and all these children are named, until finally we get to one named Noah. That’s when everyone drowns and humans take a mulligan. We’re left with one family that starts everything. Assuming the logic that in the beginning there was one male and one female homo sapien that formed our species, so far the Noah story holds up, even scientifically.

Now keep this in mind when I say scientifically, the human mind has an instinct towards art. It has been suggested that without creating fiction, we wouldn’t have been able to evolve as we have. So it’s quite possible that two parents told their children a fantastic story about their grandparents. Whether or not it’s true is not the point; the myth is what is important. We live by principals established in part by myth.

As curious as I am, I may not read the whole thing. I started with Revelations, so I know how it all ends. Pretty lousy ending, really. Almost like this one, but without the locusts and disease. Well, the locusts anyway.