Yesterday, I schemed.
I’ve always wanted to write my name in fresh cement, and when I saw the recently-poured sidewalk across the street, I couldn’t help myself. I took an apple, chopped it in half, and carved an imprint into it. Then I waited until the Surprisingly Vigilant Security Guard had to go to the washroom, ran over there, and stuck my apple into it, retreating to safety moments before he came back. In and out like a bank heist.
To be honest, I’ve never been in a bank heist, but I have seen a lot of heist movies, so believe me, I know what I’m talking about. My execution was somewhere between Ocean’s Eleven and Dog Day Afternoon. Closer to Ocean’s Eleven, though, since nobody… well, you know.
The only flaw in my execution was that my apple was too mushy by the time I used it that it left only the faintest impression. It basically looks like a water stain. But I guess that’s why they say crime doesn’t pay. It costs an apple.
